Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Trending via WeChat:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Seen just now on YouTube:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Just shared via Facebook:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Just shared via Twitch:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Going viral on Instagram:

I had too much to think last night.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Funny turtles quotes

Funny turtles quotes 🐢💬 bring a splash of humor to your day with slow-paced wit and shell-tastic charm! Whether you’re a turtle lover or just need a quirky pick-me-up, these playful sayings will have you smiling faster than a turtle crossing the road (well, almost!). Get ready to slow down, laugh out loud, and embrace the quirky wisdom of our shelled friends! 😂🌟🐢

New funny turtles quotes 👇

All funny turtles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

89 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Going viral on WeChat:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Spotted on LinkedIn:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Going bananas on Slack:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴