Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

11 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Reported on TikTok:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Spotted on Reddit:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Spotted on TikTok:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Just shared via Messenger:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Just shared via YouTube:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Home » Funny Updates Quotes

Funny updates quotes

Funny updates quotes are the perfect way to keep your friends and followers laughing while you share life’s little moments 😄📲 Whether you’re celebrating wins, embracing fails, or just adding some humor to your day, these witty lines bring the fun and flair every status needs 🎉😂 Ready to brighten your feed and spread smiles? Let’s dive into some playful vibes and lighten up those updates! 🌟💬

New funny updates quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: ChatGPT gets sunburned pixels from all that virtual sunshine! 🌞🎮🤖 #GameBoyGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Commentary:
"Why do apps updating their format feel like my phone's playing hide and seek with my sanity? 🤯📱🔄"
3 months ago
Share →: “Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Commentary:
"Sorry, my new privacy policy only shares memes and bad jokes 😂🔒 #KeepingItPrivate"

For even more funny updates quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny updates quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

11 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Breaking via Discord:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Making waves on Threads:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Just landed via Twitch:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Just landed via Discord:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Spotted on Discord:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴