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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Trending via Telegram:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Spreading quickly via X:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Just shared via Threads:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Funny woke up quotes

Funny woke up quotes are the perfect morning pick-me-up 🌞😄! Whether you’re a night owl or an early bird, these witty words will have you laughing before your first cup of coffee ☕️😂. Start your day with a smile and a little sass to shake off the sleepiness 🛌✨. Ready to embrace mornings with humor? Let’s dive into some hilarious wake-up wisdom that’ll brighten even the groggiest face! 😜🌈

New funny woke up quotes 👇

All funny woke up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

59 shares on Discord this month:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I need money, not feelings.

37 shares on Slack this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Spotted on Messenger:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Trending via Pinterest:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Trending via Discord:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Breaking via Threads:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Just shared via Instagram:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Spotted on Discord:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

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