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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Freshly posted on X:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Going viral on X:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Just shared via Facebook:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Seen just now on Threads:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Spotted on X:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics 🏆🎬📺🎮!

activity, balance, entertainment, everyone, finding, fun, fun activity, game, games, harder, hobby, i, job, leisure, management, movie, playing, say, show, shows, speak, time, time management, TV, TV Show, video, video game, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time
I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

0

2 months ago

age, change, digital, digital age, Facebook, farmland, i, long time, media, memory, nostalgia, remember, social, social media, time, used
HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

0

2 months ago

beloved, communication, dearly, Dearly Beloved, emails, giving, hard, hr, humor, me, office, time, work, workplace
It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

0

2 months ago

command, even, frustration, humor, irony, joke, relationship, sarcasm, wish
Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

0

3 months ago

commercial, commercials, complaint, even, humor, maybe, paid, paying, payment, service, services, stop, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us, volume, watch
When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

0

2 months ago

balance, extension, Friday, holiday, humor, i, joke, politics, president, public, Thursday, weekend, work life, work-life balance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I need a massage for my brain.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Live now on YouTube:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Making waves on Slack:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Spotted on Messenger:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨