I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

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Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

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It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

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Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

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Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

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FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

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My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

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I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.