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Commentary:
🍆 "Some say aubergines belong in the bin, but I say they deserve better – like being a secret agent undercover in the fridge! 🕵️‍♂️ Who knew these sneaky veggies were living a double life? 😂 #FridgeSpy"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you love someone, let them sleep.

0

2 months ago

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Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

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2 months ago

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Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

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2 months ago

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I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

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2 months ago

donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work
If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

0

2 months ago

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They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

61 shares on Slack this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Trending via Twitch:

The future is buffering.

Going viral on X:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Shared recently on X:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Making waves on TikTok:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Making waves on Twitch:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Making waves on Reddit:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Just landed via X:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨