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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Going viral on Reddit:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Making waves on Twitch:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Making waves on Twitch:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Trending via Slack:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Printers: Forever leaving us on 'read' and jamming to their own beat! 😂🖨️ #TeenageDrama"

definitely, humor, moodiness, moody, printers, tech, technology, teenagers, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, just, life, mean, mistake, parents, planned
I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

0

2 months ago

argument, back, backing, disagreement, humor, i, meme, realization, support
Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, insomnia, night, overthinking, procrastination, sleep, stay, thoughts
This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, meeting, push, sarcasm, stairs, workplace
I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

0

2 months ago

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister
His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, courtroom, hands, honor, humor, joke, me, speech, stop, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

76 shares on X this month:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Trending via Messenger:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Shared recently on Threads:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨