Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Going viral on X:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Going viral on Slack:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Breaking via Instagram:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Spotted on WeChat:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Spotted on Threads:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about a subway rat living the good life with pizza and friends.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why do I feel like that rat has its life more together than I do? 🍕🐀🏆

best, better, circle, comparison, doing, food, humor, i, knows, life, me, pizza, rat, routine, social, social circle, sometimes, Subway, subway rat, think, urban, urban life, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Going bananas on Threads:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Live now on X:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Breaking via WeChat:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Freshly posted on X:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Trending via Instagram:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨