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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Just shared via Instagram:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Broadcasted on X:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Making waves on YouTube:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone gets more screen time than a Hollywood blockbuster 😂📱🎬

bro, communication, conversation, ever, excuse, humor, just, life, media, phone, relationship, right, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, texting, time, using, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

0

2 months ago

fear, humor, i, me, minutes, panic, scare, two minutes, wallet
I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

0

2 weeks ago

birthday, celebration, everyone, exhaustion, greeting, happy, humor, i, keep, life, procrastination, rest, sarcasm
The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, last, money, month, procrastination, running, spending
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

0

3 weeks ago

always, ambition, aspiration, childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, lot, money, wanted, woman
Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

0

2 months ago

experience, festival, fortune, fun, homeless, humor, irony, live, living, pay, person
My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

0

2 months ago

age, ages, belief, context, demon, humor, middle, middle age, people, possession, reaction, reason, sneeze

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

65 shares on Slack this month:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

94 shares on X this month:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

27 shares on Slack this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Going viral on Reddit:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Just shared via Threads:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Going viral on WeChat:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨