Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.