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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,885

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Trending via Threads:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Spotted on Facebook:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Spotted on Discord:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just landed via Facebook:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Trending via Telegram:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Breaking via Discord:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for that brain matter delivery, but it's stuck in eternal shipping delay! 🧠🚚⏳

age, brain, childhood, days, difficulty, easier, gaming, hard, hit, humor, just, kid, matter, mental, mental age, nostalgia, opposite, patience, puzzle, wait, Zelda

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

0

2 months ago

humor, meditation, person, problems, relaxation, secret, self-care, wealth, wealthy, weapon
Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

0

2 months ago

call, dream, humor, meeting, people, self, staring, talking, thing, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, Zoom
With great power comes a huge electric bill.

0

2 months ago

bill, cost, electric, electric bill, electricity, energy, great, huge, humor, joke, power, responsibility
I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

0

2 months ago

breakup, call, ex, humor, i, joke, relationship, why
“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

0

2 months ago

bounce, conversation, frustration, i, leg, screaming, start, stop
I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

0

2 months ago

age, change, cool, hear, here, humor, i, loud, myself, say, self-awareness, things, think, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

43 shares on Threads this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

54 shares on Slack this month:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Breaking via Slack:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨