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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Trending via TikTok:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Breaking via X:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Broadcasted on X:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Just landed via YouTube:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Love at first sight? More like love at first light bill! 💡❤️🏠

anyone, dating, fall, humor, love, relationship, rent, romance, roommate, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

0

2 months ago

animals, being, funny situation, giraffe, humor, imagination, imagine, nausea, situation, throw, throw up
Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

0

2 months ago

dad, exaggeration, hard, humor, i, loud, parenting, sneeze, think
She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

0

2 months ago

bedding, bedroom, date, drawer, fresh, humor, i, impress, matching, me, organized, relationship, sock, wanted
I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

0

2 months ago

door, expectation, hold, humor, i, just, lady, me, open, refrigerator, relationship, romance, someone, treat, want
Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

0

2 months ago

appointment, care, crying, health, humor, mental, mental health, self, self-care, therapy
It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

0

2 months ago

expectations, experience, humor, marriage, married, nice, people, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

Blink if you want me!

74 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Breaking via Telegram:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Trending via YouTube:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Spreading quickly via X:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Spotted on Twitch:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Making waves on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨