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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Spotted on WeChat:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Making waves on YouTube:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Freshly posted on Threads:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Making waves on Threads:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Trending via X:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Just landed via WeChat:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Making waves on X:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Seen just now on X:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Live now on YouTube:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Seen just now on X:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

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