Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Just shared via Threads:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Going viral on X:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Funny autograph quotes

Funny autograph quotes bring a splash of laughter 🎉 to your signature game ✍️! Whether you’re signing a book, a photo, or a keepsake, adding a witty twist 😄 turns a simple autograph into a memorable moment. Ready to leave fans giggling and grinning? Let’s dive into some clever ideas that make your signature stand out and sparkle ✨!

New funny autograph quotes 👇

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

2 months ago

asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

2 months ago

attention, autograph, awkwardnes, celebrity, hate, humor, i, interaction, just, me, people, picture, request, social, social interaction, stare, want
I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

2 months ago

activity, autograph, best, bible, every, fun, fun activity, hotel, humor, i, JC, prank, religion, wishes

All funny autograph quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

63 shares on Telegram this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Freshly posted on Threads:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Trending via Telegram:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Trending via Slack:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

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