Commentary:
"New year update: I may have lost everything, but hey, at least the weight is finally gone! 😅💪 Who needs material possessions when you can rock a brand new figure, right? #Priorities #NewYearNewMe"
191 Funny change quotes
I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's upgrading from the bottom of their heart to the top! 🎩💖 Watch out world, we've got a gratitude trendsetter on our hands! 😉🌟 #LevelingUp #HeartfeltThanks"
I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.
Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia of teenage rebellion! 💥👧🏻 Who knew that at 14 we could have been even more innovative in our life-ruining endeavors? 🤔💭 Here's to the wisdom that comes with age… or maybe just new mischief-making skills! 😂🙌 #TeenageThrowback
Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.
Commentary:
"Who needs speed dating when you can merrily hop from plate to plate in the ultimate foodie quest for love? 🍝🍔🍣 Swipe right for the perfect dish, or better yet, a slice of every delicious possibility! Bon appétit and bon amour! 💕🍴"
The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.
Commentary:
"Looks like cannons finally got the memo about 'peace and love' 🕊️💥. Who knew they could have a change of heart? Or maybe they just aim for targets that aren't moving 🤷♂️🎯. Either way, RIP to the good ol' days of being a cannon operator. Your job prospects have truly 'shot' down 🤣🔫."
I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”
Commentary:
😂🌅 Oh, the sun of youth, forever setting on our nostalgia trips! 🌟 It's like we've got a permanent case of FOMO for our past selves. But hey, at least we can always watch the sunrise of new memories! ☀️ Embrace the moment, even when you're missing who you were then!
If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”
Commentary:
"If Nike ever adopts this new slogan, sales would skyrocket as people proudly flaunt their imaginary athletic achievements. 🏃♂️💨 Just remember, it only counts if you post about it on social media! #JustSayYouDidIt"
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.
Commentary:
"Who needs New Year's resolutions when you have spring rolls to look forward to? 🍣 Time to chase away the winter blues with some delicious rolls! 💪😋"
Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.
Commentary:
"Imagine dropping some sick beats about searching for the milk aisle only to find it relocated to the frozen foods section. 🛒🎤 #RapGameChaos"
Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.
Commentary:
"Who knew time travel could be so mundane? 🕰️🧳 I guess superhero capes are optional when adjusting the microwave clock on a lazy Sunday morning! ⏰😆 #LamestTimeTravelEver"