Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Trending via TikTok:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Just shared via YouTube:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Shared recently on Instagram:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Trending via Slack:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Funny cocktails quotes

Funny cocktails quotes are the perfect splash of humor to shake up your happy hour 🍹😂 Whether you’re toasting with friends or just sipping solo, these witty words mix laughter with your favorite drinks 🍸✨ Get ready to stir up some smiles and garnish your day with a twist of fun! 🎉🍍 Cheers to jokes as refreshing as your cocktail! 🥂😄

New funny cocktails quotes 👇

All funny cocktails quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Just shared via Instagram:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Trending via Slack:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Just shared via TikTok:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

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