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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Just shared via Messenger:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Broadcasted on Threads:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Just shared via YouTube:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Going viral on Twitch:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Trending via YouTube:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Freshly posted on X:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

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