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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,245

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Making waves on Slack:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Live now on Discord:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Trending via Discord:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Funny cousin quotes

Funny cousin quotes bring all the laughter and love into one perfect package! 😂 Whether they’re partners in crime or your ultimate hype squad, cousins know how to keep family gatherings entertaining. From silly moments to unforgettable adventures, these quotes capture the unique bond that only cousins share. Ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even snort? Let’s celebrate those hilarious memories and quirky connections that make cousins truly one of a kind! 🎉👯‍♂️❤️

New funny cousin quotes 👇

All funny cousin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

100 shares on Threads this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

99 shares on Threads this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

11 out of 10 women are always right.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Spotted on Instagram:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Spotted on Messenger:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Going viral on X:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Going viral on Slack:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Spotted on Facebook:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

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