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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Spreading quickly via X:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Funny curb quotes

Funny curb quotes bring a splash of humor to everyday moments 🌟🚗 Whether you’re waiting for a ride or just chilling by the sidewalk, these witty lines turn ordinary curbs into laugh zones 😂🎉 Perfect for sharing, smiling, and brightening up your feed—get ready to curb your boredom with some seriously clever vibes! 😎✨

New funny curb quotes 👇

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

2 days ago

accident, car, curb, driving, feed, humor, joke, little, okay, sometimes, treat
I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

3 days ago

away, curb, driving, habit, humor, observation, parking, parking habit, person, sarcastic, too
For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

5 days ago

activity, celebrate, curb, day, driving, every, going, hitting, humor, i, international, International Women’s Day, joke, women’s

All funny curb quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Threads this month:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

58 shares on Threads this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

39 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

81 shares on X this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

76 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Overthinkaholic!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via Discord:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Spotted on X:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Going viral on Slack:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

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