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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Just shared via YouTube:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Going viral on Discord:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Seen just now on Threads:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Making waves on TikTok:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2327 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,489

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,489

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Live now on Slack:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Shared recently on WeChat:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Live now on Messenger:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Making waves on Reddit:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Shared recently on Slack:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

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