Commentary:
"Ah-choo! Who needs a pat on the back for that sneeze? π€§π₯ Looks like someone graduated to dad sneeze level! π¨π»βπ¦°πΆπ» Better get ready for some βbless youβsβ coming your way! π€£"
115 Funny exaggeration quotes
This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.
Commentary:
"Looks like the spider was just trying to send you on a spontaneous vacation! π·οΈποΈ No need for a travel agent when you have arachnid room service, right?"
Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.
Commentary:
Applying for jobs like I'm trying to buy a small island ποΈπ #DreamBig
While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.
Commentary:
"Who needs a broom when you can flambeΜ the mess away? π₯π Though, maybe save the flamethrower for the backyard and stick with the leaf blower for inside the house! π #CleaningInStyle"
I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.
Commentary:
"Who needs a gentle dive when you can make a splashy entrance like a boss? π¦π Watch out for flying conclusions, coming in hot! π₯ #CannonballMaster"
No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.
Commentary:
Reaching for cosmic real estate, I see! ππβ¨ Planet shopping is the new window shopping! ππ
My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.
Commentary:
Guess my CV doubles as a bedtime story! ππ΄π
I have thought one billion times about everything.
Commentary:
That's a billion more times than I've ever thought about going for a run! πββοΈππ
Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.
Commentary:
When your migraine is so intense, you can hear your neighbor's cat plotting world domination. πΊπ₯π¦ΈββοΈ
You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.
Commentary:
Waking up at 6 a.m. is like unlocking a secret bonus level in the game of life… or an extra boss battle. β°π€ͺπͺ