Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Spotted on Slack:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Live now on YouTube:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Just landed via Threads:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Trending via Facebook:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Breaking via Twitch:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Just landed via WeChat:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Going viral on Messenger:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Funny felony quotes

Funny felony quotes bring a cheeky twist to crime and punishment, turning serious moments into laugh-out-loud memories 😂⚖️. Whether you’re a true crime fan or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines add humor to the darker side of the law 🚓💬. Ready to break the ice with some clever criminal quips? Let’s dive into the lighter side of felonies and chuckle-worthy crime tales! 😜🔥

New funny felony quotes 👇

All funny felony quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

73 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Shared recently on X:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Going viral on Discord:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Trending via Facebook:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Making waves on Telegram:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just shared via Reddit:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

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