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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Seen just now on Slack:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Trending via Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Breaking via Instagram:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Trending via Reddit:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Funny flash quotes

Funny flash quotes 💥 are the perfect quick burst of laughter to brighten your day! Whether you need a snappy comeback, a clever joke, or just a moment to smile 😄, these witty one-liners hit fast and hard. Ready to spark joy and share some giggles? Let’s dive into a world where humor strikes like lightning ⚡️—short, sweet, and totally unforgettable!

New funny flash quotes 👇

All funny flash quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Just shared via YouTube:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Making waves on Messenger:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Shared recently on Messenger:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Making waves on X:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

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