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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Freshly posted on Slack:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Breaking via X:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Just landed via X:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Going viral on WeChat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Just shared via Discord:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

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Funny funny excuse quotes

Funny funny excuse quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day 😂✨ Whether you need a clever reason to skip chores or just want to make your friends chuckle, these playful excuses have got you covered! From silly to downright ridiculous, they turn any situation into a laugh fest 🎉🤣 Get ready to brighten up your conversations with a dose of witty fun!

New funny funny excuse quotes 👇

For even more funny funny excuse quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny funny excuse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Live now on WhatsApp:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Going viral on Messenger:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Trending via Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Reported on Slack:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Spotted on YouTube:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

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