Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Live now on Slack:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Shared recently on Discord:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Making waves on TikTok:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

13 Funny gods quotes

More funny gods quotes 👇

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

2 months ago

calling, cat, communication, end, expectations, frustration, gods, humor, irony, name, naming, only, pet, spend, stop, think, trying
I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

2 months ago

account, attitude, bank, bank account, card, carefree, carefree attitude, check, even, financial, financial struggle, god’s will, gods, humor, i, just, money, spending, struggle, swipe, swipe card
Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

3 months ago

change, climate, climate change, commentary, courage, everyone, gods, humor, irony, sacrifice, satire, social, social commentary, virgin

For even more funny gods quotes, hit next 👇

All funny gods quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

78 shares on X this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

62 shares on Discord this month:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Making waves on Discord:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Going viral on Slack:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Spotted on X:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Shared recently on X:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

13 Funny gods quotes

More funny gods quotes 👇

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

All funny gods quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨