Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Going viral on X:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Going viral on TikTok:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Just shared via TikTok:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Making waves on Discord:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Trending via X:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Funny grocery bag quotes

Funny grocery bag quotes bring a burst of laughter to your everyday errands 🛒😂 Whether you’re juggling snacks or fresh veggies, these clever sayings turn ordinary bags into conversation starters 🥦🛍️ Ready to brighten your shopping trips and spread smiles? Let’s dive into the world of witty words that make grocery runs way more fun! 🎉🛒✨

New funny grocery bag quotes 👇

All funny grocery bag quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

70 shares on Slack this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Just shared via Discord:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Spotted on Messenger:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Spotted on Twitch:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Going bananas on Instagram:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Shared recently on Discord:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Spotted on WeChat:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Spotted on Instagram:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

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