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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Just shared via Instagram:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Going viral on YouTube:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Making waves on Instagram:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Funny horseman quotes

Funny horseman quotes 🐴 bring a whole new level of laughter to the riding world! Whether you’re trotting, galloping, or just horsing around, these witty sayings capture the quirks and joys of life in the saddle 🤠. Perfect for sharing with your fellow equestrian friends or brightening up your stable feed, get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort a little! 😂🐎

New funny horseman quotes 👇

All funny horseman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

79 shares on Reddit this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

22 shares on Threads this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

73 shares on X this month:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Just landed via Twitch:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Making waves on Reddit:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just shared via Threads:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Spreading quickly via X:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Just landed via Reddit:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

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