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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The world started without permission again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Spotted on Twitch:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Trending via WeChat:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Just landed via Instagram:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Trending via TikTok:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Just landed via Slack:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Home » Funny Hot Weather Quotes

Funny hot weather quotes

Funny hot weather quotes ☀️🔥 are the perfect way to beat the heat with a smile! When the sun turns up the heat and sweat becomes your new accessory, a little humor goes a long way 😅🌡️. Get ready to laugh through the scorching days and find cool vibes in the hottest moments. Chill out with some witty words that make summer heat feel a little more bearable! 😎🍦

New funny hot weather quotes 👇

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

0

2 months ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work
It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

0

2 months ago

getting, guitar, harmonica, heat, hot, hot weather, instrument, music, outdoor, outside, slide, slide guitar, summer, weather
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

0

5 months ago

back, finger, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, inside, just, me, reaction, sarcasm, shadow, summer, sun, temperature, weather
It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

0

5 months ago

bitching, breaking, complaining, frustration, heat, here, hot, hot weather, humor, just, moaning, sweat, weather

All funny hot weather quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,961

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Broadcasted on Slack:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Going viral on TikTok:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Spotted on Twitch:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Trending via Slack:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Just shared via Reddit:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Trending via Slack:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Trending via Twitch:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

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