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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Seen just now on Discord:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Spotted on Messenger:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Funny humor about food quotes

Funny humor about food quotes 🍕😂 serve up a tasty blend of laughs and cravings that satisfy your soul and your taste buds! Whether you’re a snack lover 🍩 or a full-course foodie 🍔, these witty bites add extra flavor to your day. Get ready to chuckle while dreaming of your next delicious bite—because good food and great humor are a recipe for happiness! 😋🎉

New funny humor about food quotes 👇

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

1 week ago

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight
What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

1 week ago

big, Big Mac, Big Matt, came, fast, fast food, food, greeting, hello, humor, humor about food, humorous, humorous thought, imagination, mac, Matt, personification, playful, said, thought
Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

1 week ago

dark, dark humor, every, family, food, funny thought, grape, hear, humor, humor about food, imagination, imagine, soft, son, thought, time, voice, whisper

All funny humor about food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

78 shares on Threads this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At least life has music.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Just landed via X:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Going viral on Discord:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Spotted on YouTube:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Live now on Slack:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Spotted on WeChat:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

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