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When you go for dancing and end up getting free therapy instead 💃🕺😂
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
The only time I beg is to differ.
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When my brain begs to differ, even my thoughts hold a protest sign 🧠🔄✨
Everything feels like thinking the stripper likes me.
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Looks like I've cracked the code to life—spoiler: it's all just wishful thinking! 😅💸
I turn off the lights so there’s more power for the data centres.
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That's my way of contributing to the virtual world—saving watts to power up the cat memes! 😂💡🐱
Asking my girlfriend if I can go outside to play in the yard.
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When you have to ask for a yard pass, just to remind her you're not one of the kids! 😆🏡
Farted in yoga, and the instructor called it a powerful release.
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When your yoga class turns into an unexpected guided meditation on gas relief 🧘♂️💨😂
Shoutout to everyone who doesn’t speak in the morning, and giving others time to defrost.
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Morning mimes unite! Let's all defrost in silence before facing the day ☕️😴🌞
Root beer tastes like the way Abraham Lincoln looks, and I can’t explain that.
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Root beer: the only drink that lets you taste history while making you question reality 😂🤔🥤🎩
I’m trying to be less condescending. I bet you don’t even know what that means.
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Who knew being less condescending could be such an uphill struggle? It's like trying to explain quantum physics to my coffee machine. 🤔☕️
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.
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Who needs social media when you can just post your thoughts directly into the universe? 📡🤔🌌