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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Trending via YouTube:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Reported on Discord:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Just shared via WeChat:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Trending via Instagram:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Breaking via Facebook:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Trending via Discord:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Just shared via YouTube:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Spotted on Threads:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Just shared via Facebook:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Trending via Telegram:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Live now on Pinterest:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

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