Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎤✨
5670 Funny i quotes
When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.
Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to start practicing my bat skills, because daylight is getting way too expensive! 🦇💡😅
I think God was high when he made me.
Commentary:
Sounds like the divine was feeling extra creative that day! 🌈😂✨
Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.
Commentary:
Keeping it low-key by blending in with the potato squad! 🥔✨
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.
Commentary:
When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕
“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?
Commentary:
Not sure, but apparently, I need a manual and some face stickers! 👀🎨🤣
If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”
Commentary:
When you don't quite fit anywhere but somehow fit everywhere 🤪🤷♂️ #TeamMiscellaneous
I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.
Commentary:
Just flew out of the cocoon and already getting asked for a five-year plan. 🦋✨📈
I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.
Commentary:
Who knew we'd be longing for catchy tunes about questionable life choices? 🎶🍷😂
Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”
Commentary:
That's one wrinkled board that's giving Alanstis Morissette a run for her money! 😂✨ #IronyOnAnotherLevel