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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Freshly posted on Threads:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Trending via Messenger:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Trending via Messenger:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Funny jawline quotes

Funny jawline quotes are the perfect way to add a little sass and charm to your day 😄💫 Whether you’re flaunting that sharp angle or just dreaming of a chiseled look, these witty lines will have you smiling and striking poses like a pro 📸💥 Get ready to laugh, flex, and maybe even snap a selfie or two with a little extra confidence! 😜✨

New funny jawline quotes 👇

All funny jawline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Threads this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Going viral on Instagram:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Just shared via TikTok:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Live now on Discord:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

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