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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Making waves on YouTube:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Trending via Slack:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Going viral on X:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Live now on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Trending via Snapchat:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Funny losing mind quotes

New funny losing mind quotes 👇

All funny losing mind quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

70 shares on Facebook this month:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Spotted on Threads:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Trending via Slack:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Making waves on Reddit:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Live now on Threads:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Trending via X:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

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