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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Trending via Instagram:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Making waves on Instagram:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Going viral on TikTok:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Funny lotion quotes

Funny lotion quotes bring a splash of humor to your skincare routine 🧴😂 Whether you’re fighting dryness or just love that silky smooth feel, these witty lines will make you smile while you moisturize. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your bathroom mirror, get ready to laugh your way to softer skin 💧😄 Let’s dive into the lighter side of lotion!

New funny lotion quotes 👇

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

2 months ago

adult, being, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, idea, life, lotion, skincare
My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

2 months ago

body, body lotion, comedy, favorite, health, humor, joke, lotion, medicine, medicine joke, pain, pain relief, relief, Voltaren
I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

3 months ago

bottle, hand, hate, i, lotion, lotion bottle, mucus, mucus plug, palm, plug, pump, skincare

All funny lotion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

20 shares on Threads this month:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

65 shares on X this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

87 shares on Threads this month:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

18 shares on Slack this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Seen just now on TikTok:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Making waves on Messenger:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Making waves on Telegram:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Making waves on Telegram:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Spotted on TikTok:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

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