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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Going viral on Twitch:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Shared recently on Discord:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Spotted on Messenger:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Just landed via Threads:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Live now on Instagram:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Broadcasted on X:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Funny lotion quotes

Funny lotion quotes bring a splash of humor to your skincare routine 🧴😂 Whether you’re fighting dryness or just love that silky smooth feel, these witty lines will make you smile while you moisturize. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your bathroom mirror, get ready to laugh your way to softer skin 💧😄 Let’s dive into the lighter side of lotion!

New funny lotion quotes 👇

All funny lotion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being awake is the worst.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Just landed via Slack:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Just shared via Telegram:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Seen just now on X:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Trending via Telegram:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

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