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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Spotted on Discord:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Going bananas on Slack:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Breaking via Facebook:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Shared recently on Threads:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Just shared via Telegram:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Making waves on Facebook:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Shared recently on Reddit:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Just shared via Telegram:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Just shared via Discord:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Funny mixed signal quotes

Funny mixed signal quotes bring all the confusion and laughter together in one perfect package 😂💬 Whether you’re decoding confusing texts or navigating those “wait, what?” moments, these witty lines capture the chaos of mixed messages perfectly 🤪📱 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even facepalm as you dive into the hilarious world of communication gone sideways! 🎉💡

New funny mixed signal quotes 👇

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

0

3 weeks ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

0

2 months ago

clarity, clear, communication, expectations, humor, i, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signal, perfectly, relationship, signal, signals, thought
What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

0

2 months ago

babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

0

5 months ago

advice, always, communication, decision, decision making, humor, making, mixed, mixed signal, own, sanity, signal, signals, take

All funny mixed signal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

78 shares on X this month:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

43 shares on WeChat this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

57 shares on X this month:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,311

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Seen just now on Slack:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Live now on WeChat:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Just landed via Telegram:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Going viral on YouTube:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

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