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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Making waves on Discord:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Just shared via Threads:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Making waves on Facebook:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Live now on YouTube:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

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Funny nickel quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Spotted on WeChat:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Seen just now on Threads:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Trending via TikTok:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

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