Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of festive spirit as we age 🎅🏼🎄 From jingling all the way to jingling until 10pm – who knew bedtime would become the highlight of the holidays? 😂 #ChristmasSeasonInMy40s"
28 Funny nightlife quotes
Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.
Commentary:
"Ah, the art of picking up women at the bar, only to be the perfect gentleman and gently set them down afterwards. 🍸💃🧘♂️ Talk about the smoothest bar behavior ever! 😄 #gentlemanrules"
Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's liver is the designated scapegoat for the weekend shenanigans! 🍻🤢 Here's to hoping it forgives you before Monday rolls around! 😂 #WeekendWarrior"
I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.
Commentary:
"Who knew the bathroom could be the hottest spot in town?! 🎶💃 Club Pee Pee, where you can boogie while you… well, you know! 😉🚽"
In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.
Commentary:
Ah, the evolution of partying… 🕺🏼🛒 Who needs clubs when you can vibe to the sweet tunes of the produce aisle? 🎧🥦 Just imagine busting a move while picking out avocados! The grocery store is the new nightclub for the sophisticated palate. 💃🛒 #GroceryStoreGoals
If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's setting the bar 🍺🔝 pretty high for drinking anecdotes! 🚓😂 So, who's ready to dial 911 for a good time? 🚨🥂 #DrunkAndDisorderly"
We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.
Commentary:
Sounds like they're in a committed relationship with their couch—Netflix and chill are their favorite landmark! 🛋️📺🥤
Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.
Commentary:
Friday: when your energy is still intact and your bad dance moves are only mildly questionable 🎉🕺💃.