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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Making waves on WeChat:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Spotted on YouTube:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Reported on Instagram:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Live now on Threads:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Live now on Threads:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Making waves on Twitch:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Trending via Twitch:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Trending via Facebook:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Breaking via Instagram:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Just landed via Twitch:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

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