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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

Updated

30 seconds ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Making waves on Instagram:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Just landed via Instagram:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Reported on YouTube:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Spotted on Twitch:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Just shared via Reddit:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

Updated

30 seconds ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Breaking via Messenger:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Making waves on YouTube:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Spotted on Twitch:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Just shared via Messenger:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

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