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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Trending via WeChat:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Just landed via YouTube:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Funny petting quotes

Funny petting quotes 🐾 bring a smile to every animal lover’s face! Whether you’re cuddling a fluffy pup 🐶 or a purring kitty 🐱, these witty lines capture the joy and quirks of petting time. Get ready to laugh, relate, and share the cozy vibes that only a good petting session can deliver. Perfect for brightening up your day and celebrating those furry friends who rule our hearts! ❤️🐕✨

New funny petting quotes 👇

All funny petting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

38 shares on Threads this month:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

16 shares on X this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

97 shares on X this month:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,442

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Just landed via Facebook:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Live now on Messenger:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Trending via Snapchat:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

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