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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Spotted on X:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Going viral on WeChat:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Just landed via X:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Live now on Facebook:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Funny pros quotes

Funny pros quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of experts and champions 🏆😂 Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned pro, these witty sayings will crack you up while celebrating skills and success 🎯🤣 Get ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even learn a thing or two from the funniest pros out there! 🎉👊 #ProHumor #LaughOutLoud

New funny pros quotes 👇

All funny pros quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

53 shares on X this month:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

83 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

46 shares on Threads this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

61 shares on Threads this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,424

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Spreading quickly via X:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Going bananas on Slack:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Just landed via Messenger:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Going viral on Messenger:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

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