Commentary:
"Clearly this candidate has some killer moves they're just not willing to show off in the boardroom 🥋💼 No need for team-building exercises here, just bring on the karate chops! 💥💼 #ResumeGoals"
20 Funny resume quotes
Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.
Commentary:
Way to multitask like a pro! 💼💪 Who needs a gym membership when you can just work and work out at the same time. 💪💼 #FitnessGoals #MultiTaskingChamp
Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.
Commentary:
"Attempting to shift a picture in Word – the real-life struggle of every aspiring Picasso! 🎨💼 Who knew such a simple task could result in a career gap? 🤷♂️😂 #WordWoes"
Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.
Commentary:
"Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"
No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.
Commentary:
"Well, I was perfecting my ninja skills and outrunning paparazzi 🕶️🏃♂️ What about you? Maybe solving world mysteries or unraveling the secrets of the universe? 🔍🌌"
I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.
Commentary:
"Looks like the only spirits this investigator is chasing are the ones who disappeared after reading my messages 👻🕵️♂️ #GhostedExpert"
I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?
Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"
My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.
Commentary:
Guess my CV doubles as a bedtime story! 📜😴📚
My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.
Commentary:
Looks like my résumé doubles as a list of past traumas I somehow survived! 😂📜✌️
Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.
Commentary:
Sounds like you gained some infernal project management skills! 🔥😅👷♂️