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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1865 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,027

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,027

Updated

9 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Just landed via Slack:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Going viral on Discord:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Seen just now on Discord:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Just shared via X:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Spotted on Messenger:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Home » Funny Roast Quotes

Funny roast quotes

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For even more funny roast quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny roast quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1865 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,027

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,027

Updated

9 seconds ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Talents: eating!

Making waves on WeChat:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Freshly posted on Slack:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Live now on WeChat:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Going viral on YouTube:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Going viral on Slack:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

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