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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Just shared via TikTok:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Going viral on Threads:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Going viral on Messenger:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Shared recently on X:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Reported on LinkedIn:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

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