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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Going viral on X:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Just shared via Messenger:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Just landed via Threads:

Your opinions are not my business.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Making waves on Facebook:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Spotted on TikTok:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Funny runaway quotes

New funny runaway quotes 👇

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

9 hours ago

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All funny runaway quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

29 shares on X this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

27 shares on Slack this month:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Spotted on Slack:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Just shared via Facebook:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Just landed via Facebook:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny runaway quotes

New funny runaway quotes 👇

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

All funny runaway quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨