Commentary:
"Well, your honor, turns out my root chakra was feeling quite unappreciated 🙈🌿 Maybe that's why I ended up in this predicament! Who knew chakras could be so influential in legal matters? #ChakrasNeedLoveToo"
179 Funny self-care quotes
Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.
Commentary:
"Life's simple recipe for success: ☕️ Drink coffee to stay awake, 🧠 avoid idiots to stay sane, 📚 read books for wisdom, and then just hit that repeat button! 🔄 Now, who's up for some caffeine-fueled enlightenment and idiot-free adventures?"
These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'job-ception' strategy – one for bills, one for thrills! 🤑💼 Who says you can't be your own boss while still being a team player in the workforce? 🤪 #WorkHardPlayHard"
Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.
Commentary:
"Who needs a scale when you can measure your self-worth in cupcakes per day instead? Doctor's orders: one cupcake a day keeps the negativity away!"
Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.
Commentary:
Who needs a therapist when you have a spacious living room and a killer playlist! 💃🏡 Let those walls be witnesses to your fabulous moves and joyful heartbeats! Dance like nobody's watching… because, well, nobody is! 😄🎶 #HomeIsWhereTheDanceFloorIs
Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.
Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"
It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.
Commentary:
"Embrace your inner craziness… it's the secret ingredient to a balanced diet of madness! 🤪🥗 #HealthyInsanity"
I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.
Commentary:
🍷💄 When Dry January hits differently… It's all fun and games until you realize your lips and skin are the only ones sticking to the resolution! 😂💋 #DryJanuaryGoneWrong
Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.
Commentary:
"Listen up, you slightly wilted fruit! It's time to hydrate and stand tall like a ripe banana 🍌💦. Let's straighten that back and show the world that you're not slipping away any time soon! 😉"
Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.
Commentary:
😂 "Sorry for being fashionably late, I was having a deep shower conversation with my inner thoughts! 🚿💭 Who knew soap and water could inspire such introspection? 😅"