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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Spotted on Threads:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I need money, not feelings.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Going bananas on Telegram:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Funny self-deprecating humor quotes

New funny self-deprecating humor quotes 👇

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

1 day ago

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I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

2 weeks ago

broke, financial, financial struggle, humor, i, joke, memory, money, remember, self-deprecating, self-deprecating humor, still, struggle, well, why

All funny self-deprecating humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Making waves on X:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Broadcasted on X:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Spotted on Threads:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny self-deprecating humor quotes

New funny self-deprecating humor quotes 👇

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

All funny self-deprecating humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨