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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Making waves on YouTube:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Trending via Telegram:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Live now on Discord:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Going viral on Threads:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Funny sneaking quotes

Funny sneaking quotes sneak up on you like a ninja in socks 🥷🧦—quiet, clever, and totally unexpected! Whether you’re tiptoeing past chores or plotting a cheeky surprise, these witty lines bring a smile to every stealthy adventure 😄👣. Ready to embrace your inner sneaky genius? Let’s dive into some humor that’s as sly as it is hilarious! 🤫✨

New funny sneaking quotes 👇

All funny sneaking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

81 shares on Slack this month:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Weirdos gonna weird.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,239

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Trending via WhatsApp:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Just landed via Slack:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Breaking via YouTube:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Trending via Threads:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Making waves on X:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Seen just now on YouTube:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Just landed via Messenger:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

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