Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

52 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Seen just now on Twitch:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Shared recently on Threads:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Breaking via Facebook:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Just landed via Instagram:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Going viral on Threads:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Just shared via Slack:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Home » Funny Stabbed Quotes

Funny stabbed quotes

New funny stabbed quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Commentary:
🤣💉 "Cartoons really do have a way of glamorizing the most unusual things! Although getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork might look nonchalant on TV, I definitely wouldn't volunteer as tribute to test out that theory myself! 🍑🍴"

For even more funny stabbed quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny stabbed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

52 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Breaking via Instagram:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Just landed via Discord:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Making waves on TikTok:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Just landed via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Going viral on X:

Being strange is exhausting.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴