Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Spotted on Messenger:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Going viral on X:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Just landed via Facebook:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Funny stalk quotes

Funny stalk quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of sneaky spying 🕵️‍♂️😂 Perfect for those moments when curiosity gets the best of you, these playful lines turn creeping into comedy 🎭 Whether it’s about social media sleuthing or just harmless nosiness, get ready to laugh out loud while embracing your inner detective 📱👀 #StalkModeActivated

New funny stalk quotes 👇

All funny stalk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

59 shares on Slack this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

19 shares on Threads this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Live now on Twitch:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Just shared via Messenger:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Live now on TikTok:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Live now on Twitch:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

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