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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Trending via Messenger:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Going viral on Instagram:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Trending via Facebook:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Just shared via Discord:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Just shared via Reddit:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Just landed via Slack:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Funny starvation quotes

Funny starvation quotes are the perfect recipe to turn hunger pangs into laughter bursts 🍔😂! When your stomach growls louder than your phone notifications, these witty lines serve up a delightful distraction 🍕😜. Whether you’re hangry or just craving a snack, get ready to feast on humor that’s as satisfying as your favorite meal 🍩😋. Let’s snack on some giggles before the next bite! 🍟🎉

New funny starvation quotes 👇

All funny starvation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

93 shares on Threads this month:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Is this simulation from Temu?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Just landed via TikTok:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Just landed via TikTok:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Live now on Facebook:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

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