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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Just landed via Slack:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m sick of living through history!

Going viral on Instagram:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

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Funny Tom and Jerry quotes

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All funny Tom and Jerry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Going viral on Slack:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Just landed via X:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Going viral on Facebook:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Trending via Discord:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Just landed via TikTok:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

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